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What do you really want?When you start working with yourself, your dreams and wishes for the future, you quite often have so many questions and doubts that you don't know where to begin or end. You can find yourself being very frustrated, angry and perhaps disappointed. You are unable or sometimes unwilling to ask the right questions in order to dispel our doubts.You know you want a change in your life, your career or something else but you just don't seem to be able to find the right path for ourselves.In my job as a Career Counselor and Coach I often hear a student or client say "I just don't know what I want but I do want something". I have found that there are four questions that really have a profound effect in the process of helping them make decisions:What is it you really want?Why is it you want it?How do you want it?When do you want it?They are questions that may take a while to answer. Some may be easier to answer than others. Quite often the "why" question is easier to answer than the rest.The first question is about being as specific as you possibly can be. The more details you can give, the better it will be for you to visualize the results. The second question is often easy to answer, you want a change because you are unhappy or you want to retrain in a new profession so you will be more content with what you do and will be able to provide a better life for yourself and your family. The reasons are endless but each one is as valid as the other.In the third question you start to create your plan, that is, how you actually want this to begin. The fourth question is as important as any of the above questions.When you have a completion date in mind you are able to begin your journey and more importantly you have a clear timeframe to complete it. You have committed yourself to start working on the change you want.And finally don't be surprised if you end up finding out that you are actually very content in your life, current job or the subject where you thought you wanted a change.That famous saying comes to mind. "The grass isn't always greener on the other side".One problem arises when a person is unsure or afraid of saying where they want to go. Sometimes making a decision seems like a lot of pressure.What if I make a mistake?What if I choose the wrong vision?What if pursuing that vision is a waste of time?Or what if you reach it and are disappointed because it's not all that it's cracked up to be?It reminds me of a quote attributed to Michelangelo;"The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it."There's another saying from Robert Frizt which goes;"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise."How many times do you feel frustrated because you follow what you think would be the best choice for others (and not yourself) or because it was the "expected" thing to do? Without having a clear vision of what you want, you'll always find yourself lost, confused and aimless."Sorry I didn't meet your expectations, I was busy meeting my own" from unknownAnother problem is when you want to go everywhere…all at once. You're never quite sure and question everything. You've forgotten your original destination and, more importantly, original vision.Many times the solution is perceived to be to "work harder." Action is definitely part of achieving vision for sure (more on this later), however driving faster in the wrong direction is not the way to achieve anything.So how do you look to develop a clear vision about what you want? The first thing you want to do is spend some quality time with yourself. Instead of latching onto the first "sounds good" that comes to mind, what do you really want for yourself? Where do you want to go?Some people are able to picture their vision best when spending quiet time with themselves at the beach or while taking a walk in nature.Others use the energy of busy streets and lots of people to tap into a deeper calling within themselves-they feel it in the middle of hustle & bustle. Others like to write their thoughts down in a journal or online note-taking application, ruminate on them a bit and then create a vision statement for themselves.Michael Beckwith leads the Agape Church in Los Angeles where hundreds of people attend the services. Add in people who watch the livestream online and he has the attention of thousands of people every week. This congregation wasn't handed to him-he had a vision of what he wanted and kept that vision in mind, consistently rejecting the actions and decisions that didn't match what he saw for himself.Beckwith also took advantage of opportunities that were presented to him, including being in a little movie called "The Secret." It led to an appearance on Oprah and soon the number of people wanting to attend his Sunday services grew exponentially and the Church was overflowing.That is a vision!What is your gut telling you?I truly believe that if your body, mind and soul are well connected with each other, in alignment, making a decision is much easier as is following through on your decision. Your body wants the best for you and it will always tell you when you need to stop and smell the roses. If you are stressed out due to work or life pressure, you will receive a hint from your body that it is time to relax, to step out of your comfort zone in order to achieve our goals or that we have to start living instead of just breathing.But most of us are masters when it comes to NOT listening to our body and you simply get on with life even though you are unhappy, unwell or know you need a change. Often you don't listen to yourself because you are not ready or willing to take the action required to effect the change we truly need. Moreover, you are afraid of the uncertainty surrounding the ultimate results our actions will bring, and you take the "safe" option of maintaining the status quo.I want to encourage everybody, including myself, to make the time to listen to our body, to listen to our heart, to listen to our gut and perhaps take a baby step in the direction you want to go. Studies actually show that our gut feeling/answer is usually the right/best one. And when I use the term "gut feeling", I am referring to the "inner self", the conscience that ultimately guides you down your true path, should you be willing and able to truly connect with that which is the source of life. In the end, you will come out more inspired, more empowered and ready to begin to live, and not just breathe.This is the step by step process that I use with myself and the people I work with.The first step is to find a quiet room or a bench in your favorite park.Start by sitting and just looking around. Feel your presence by feeling every inch of your body from head to toe.Then take five minutes where you start with a deep breath, take two more deep breaths and then ask yourself:What is my body telling me?How do I do what I'm being told?When do I start?Listen to your gut feeling, really take time to ask yourself over and over again so that you find the answers that lie in your very core. Don't over rationalize or judge or otherwise, simply allow what is inside you to pour out into your mind, and truly digest these thoughts, and see how they make you feel.It can be a scary thing listening to your body and following through on what you are being told. You have to keep an eye on your goal and remember why you are changing your ways or why you are deciding on a new career goal or deciding to engage in voluntary work or whatever it maybe. The end result will be so rewarding that you might just start giving yourselves more goals to achieve and inspire those around you by doing so.Add your thoughts1.2.3.4.5.6.

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